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Steps to Reconciliation |
Dear Brethren,
God has given us an example of reconciliation that we, as
Christians, must live by and follow. “God has reconciled us to
Himself by Jesus Christ, and has given to us the obligation
of reconciliation.” (2 Corinthians 5:18) In His
mercy, He did this incredible feat while we were yet sinners! The
goal of reconciliation is peace – peace with God, and peace with all
men. “If it be possible, as much as lies in you, live peaceably
with all men.” (Romans 12:18)
Reconciliation has to do with coming into accord with one another.
It means to make peace and restore a right relationship with all.
Reconciliation is coming to good terms again, after a breach between
two has occurred. Jesus said, “Blessed are the peacemakers: for
they shall be called the children of God.” (Matthew 5:9)
Divisiveness comes about when one or both parties have misplaced
priorities – one or the other has been betrayed, hurt, lied to, used
or misused. A situation like this calls for
reconciliation. Reconciliation takes more than words – it takes
action. Saying, “I love you,” without appropriate and suitable
deeds is meaningless. And, love must be in accordance with all of
God’s law. Hurt and pain develop when hope is shattered. Rightly
or wrongly, a person sometimes comes to the point where he or
she "will not, or cannot take anymore" – and they break off the
relationship." A hardened heart is difficult to soften.
Where can the motivation for reconciliation, reunion, and resolution
of the conflict come from? “If you
bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother
has something against you; Leave
there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be
reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift.”
(Matthew 5:23-24) Reconciliation
is most important to God. God the Father, through the
sacrifice of His Son, is not only reconciling us to Himself, He is
reconciling us to each other as well. God gives us no
choice, but to reconcile. Here are some steps to consider in reconciliation.
1. Reconciliation is an act of Godly love. As in, “Love thy
enemies.” (Matthew 5:24) Reconciliation is necessary because
the bitterness of alienation leads to spiritual blindness.
“Having the understanding darkened, being alienated from the life of
God through the ignorance that is in them, because of the blindness
of their heart.” (Ephesians 4:18)
2. Draw near to God. We cannot bring about reconciliation
on our own. Our relationship with God is the same relationship we
should be developing with others as well. “Beloved, if God so
loved us, we also ought to love one another” (1 John 4:11).
Reconciling with others is an obligation of our Christianity.
3. Fast and Pray. “If ye forgive not men
their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."
(Matthew 6:15)
4. Examine ourselves and make amends wherever possible. Say, "I'm
sorry." An attitude of repentance is required.
5. Be truly humble and meek with a willingness to begin a dialogue,
– realizing that (unwittingly) we may have been the cause of the
hurt, or the cause of the broken spirit. An attitude of humility is
important to God. When one seeks to reconcile, he must be able to
identify and repent of that offense which contributed to the
problem. If we do not have love and humility in our heart, we won’t
get anywhere. “Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye
which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness;
considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted.” (Galatians
6:1) After all, our goal is to soften their heart – after making
sure that our attitude is good and right before God.
6. Seek honesty and openness, allowing ourselves to be vulnerable.
Unless both parties are open and honest with each other, true
reconciliation cannot be found. Willingly confess our part in the
disagreement so that the trouble can be healed. “Confess your
faults one to another, and pray one for another.” (James 5:16)
7. Show mercy, forgiveness, and compassion. “Blessed are the
merciful: for they shall obtain mercy.” (Matthew 5:7) God does
not want us to give up on each other.
8. Do everything possible to make things right in fairness. Unless
there is a sincere effort to restore respect, the conflict will
continue to boil.
9. Realize that none of us are perfect – and that we are all in a
state of growing and overcoming. Abusiveness and scars from the
past can and do affect relationships.
10. Apply Matthew 18:15-17. Write a letter, call on the phone,
enlist a mutual friend. Matthew shows a Godly approach of
progressively increasing the reconciliatory effort. Knock and it
will be opened – but you have to knock louder and louder each time –
if you are not being heard. Paul wrote of the need for
reconciliation: "He [Jesus Christ] is our peace, who hath made
both one [through reconciliation], and
hath broken down the middle wall of separation between us.”
(Ephesians 2:14)
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Sermon: "Steps to Reconciliation"
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